| Friday, September 29, 2006
GENERAL PAPER DOWN!!!!...woohoo!! But I think I screw it up..crap...my body seems to be doing it rather than my brain..its like someone is controlling me and do the whole paper rather than me myself...haiz...
Waiting for an answer, searching for an answer...wonder what the answer might be.. Everything just suddenly don't seem to be the I want it to be..haiz...what is going to happen?..please...let it be the way i want it lord...i am willing to face all the consequences..
Yesterday somehow something in me just keep telling me its impossible..no way it will happen..and it just crushes my heart..arrgh.... Monday will be having Chemistry and Art..hope I will be in tip top condition..today while waiting for GP exam I just suddenly think of her..oh wells..shouldn't have...
After GP, went to eat Macs with the rest..or rather the main purpose was to see her longer..erm..yao...read le don beat me up..hahax..
aiya..whatever la.. what comes my way is what God has planned...
what matters most....is we spent a period of time together before.....i shouldn't ask for more...
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dance; the last dance. 1:47 AM
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| Wednesday, September 27, 2006
today, wednesday...had biology spa..damn..screw it up..was doing doing doing...then *piang*...the water spill onto my paper...damn..at that point of time.i was like, " Forget it la..fail le..don't want to do le"..hahax..but miss Nora came to me and sau don panic..haha..okay fine..managed to finish it though..amazing..but one weird thing..I weigh the 5 cm long cylinder of potato and it weigh 7 plus grams..but when i weigh 10 0.5 com circular discs, it weigh 13 plus grams...what the hell rite?..hahax...so nvm..i went to change the result..bleaghx..
lets see..yesterday..hahax..bad day!!!!..had PW..and Miss Sukvinder just say my group's WR is in trouble..its like WAT!!!...can u imagine??!??!..your present PW ST just say its good, HIGH MEETING EXPECTAT IONS..then someone just come and spoil everything! arrgh!..but maths remedial was fun though..hahax..oh man...eliz and yao spray 2 kinds of Deoderant at me!...make me smell like..."flower"?haha!..then yao say thats how an insect die (means i am the insect and they are using insecticide to spray at me)..haha!..nice one yao..best joke ever..=x.. hmmx..then something happen..I went to pat Eliz head..hahx..then she came running after me...I ran out of front door, slam the door..ran to the back door..and guess what..she ran that direction too..and we just collide and she got bounced off..hahah!!!..then she just sat on the floor and laugh like mad..hahax...stupid duckie..=x..
Hmmx..2 days to GP promos..I am really afraid.my Gp totally sucks!..arrgh..oh ya..today had revision lecture..and did revision questions..oh man..I don know how to do la!!..manx..I really needa mug mug!!..no time to slack!...arrgh..
Haiz..something in me seems to be confused..here or there..i don't know..Although I have been trying real hard..to make you happy..but..I really hope..you know how i feel..Somehow, something in me just tells me its just me who is "zi zuo tuo qing"...but..I really can't seem to forget everything that has happened..everything seems to be left as a scar in my mind..and..the broken heart...haiz..I suppose I just have to wait till 5th October..or maybe I should just wait abit longer..and see how things go?....But I am really afraid..afraid of you leaving with another guy..that will be the day everything is gone..cox you are my happiness....haiz..
Sorry....
I am trying hard..or maybe......
will you still accept me?
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dance; the last dance. 12:59 AM
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| Friday, September 22, 2006
 tadah!...a pet created my me..just nice..a tortise named kukutise..hehe.. Hmm..Just came back from playing soccer with randall and jon cho...crap..3 person..so we played penalty shots..hahax.manz!..VJC maths paper totally sucks!! So damn difficult!..arrgh..
hmmmx...promos coming soon..and i am the only person online in my class now..crap huh?..slacker me..haiz..
yesterday had class discussion on Service Learning Project..oh man..I am clown!!..ahh!!..how?!?!..Kenneth! you gotta come and help! hahax!..=x..oh ya..still got project work..woo..stress stress..the datelines are so near..hmmx..and Mdm Azian say our WR is meet expectations..wee...my pw group!..jia you!...lets change ME to EE!!..=D..hmmx..these days..feelings in me...kinda return..seeing you smile..laugh..really make me very happy..but..I do not just want all this happiness...I just want to be your prince..once again...may i?
...seeing you smile...brighten up my day....=)..
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dance; the last dance. 6:55 AM
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| Wednesday, September 20, 2006
WOOHOO!!..One paper down!!..Chinese shoo!!..I hate you man..hahax..make me study till so tired..crap.. Today got back my group's WR. got 14 S, 10 G, and 17 A/E!!..wee...big improvement!..hahax. I am glad that at least my part have some improvement..at least my effort didn't go into the drain.
hmmx..wanted to type lots of stuff...but when I look at this blog page..everything just *poof*..maybe everything's gone..or maybe after talking to her..feel much happier ba..=)..thx..
Tuesday was a great day..I don't know how to describe the feeling..but..it was just great.. I suppose..the key to my happiness is in your hands...and now..I can't get that key back..
In school I laugh..I smile..but most of it is being forced by me...I want myself to stay happy..stay happy for u..hahax..I know its crap..how can i stay happy for someone else..shouldn't I be staying happy for myself?..I know that should be the case...but I'm sorry..cox to me..its worth it i guess....
Hmmx..after promos.I am gonna go out like mad..I am gonna pamper myself!!..I am gonna.....erm..erm...cant think of anything yet..hahaz..but of course..I am gonna shop!..shop for new bag..shop for new shoes..woohoo.so excited.hahax..not only that..gonna meet up with V6..and Faith 4-1 buddies..hahax.I miss you guys!!!...I finally realise the importance of friendship..finally!!..and i hope its not too late guys...=D...
Today, Kenneth is SO SO SO SO SO DAMN LUCKY!!..Imagine! Kenneth and me walking..SUDDENLY! One bird shit just shoot down from nowhere!!...and land right in front of kenneth!!! *splat!...wow!..lucky boy huh!!..Lucky I am beside him..hahax..But kenneth..if u so lucky, why didn't you see "pretty girl" on the way home huh? =x..hahax..don beat me tml..lolx..
may i be your prince once again?
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dance; the last dance. 6:49 AM
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| Saturday, September 16, 2006
Just came back from church...the pastor gave a perfect sermon which makes me so awake..hahax.. The one which catch my attention was when he said,
Eversince God used Adam's rib bone and create a woman, man loses some of his characteristics due to the loss of bone...
So girls, if you wonder why are guys always so insensitive, uncaring, rough, etc....thats because those perfect characteristics are being used to create you girls..Thats the reason why God create something called "Family". When man and woman come together to accomodate each other, this will allow equal status for each other..Wife should listen to Husband, at the same time, Husband should listen to Wife too...in this way, both parties are not in any disadvantage isn't it...
hahax..okay, enough of that "preaching"...hmmx..today is Sunday..school reopening soon AGAIN..and the worse thing is Chinese Promos is this coming Wednesday!..crap..I haven even revise for it..hmmmx..I feel so dead..haven revise for Chemistry yet..Art too..haiz..no time..everything seems so tight...should i go and cut hair later?...is it a waste of time?..lolx..
wa....Hwei Ting, relax girl..you seem so stressed up..relax ya?..so what if you obtain great results and get into a great school and receive great education..It's all just stated in a piece of paper..and the most important thing is...you came to this world without anything..and you are gonna leave this world without bringing anything back with you..so what is the importance of stressing yourself so much..when you know that "The last reward for life is death"- quoted from Kenneth High Pants..hahax..yupe..I know I very naggy..hahax...but do think about it..=) Enjoy this life of yours to the fullest..before God decides to give you this "reward"...
dancing..a form of expressing yourself through moves..cool
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dance; the last dance. 9:40 PM
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Manage to change a new blogskin after struggling with the editing of template..hahax. What attracted me was the "dancing" image...the look of it makes me want to go back to secondary school and dance..=D.
Study from 2 plus to 10 today..but not productive i guess...manage to only finish Respiration, read abit of Hydroxyl Compund and finish the Maths Revision paper..sigh..needa mug abit more before i sleep..
zZzzZzz..just finish doing the cover page for WR..don't know nice notx..hahax..hao lei....zzzz..
erhem...i update le...its ur turn...=p
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dance; the last dance. 7:53 AM
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| Friday, September 15, 2006
Whee...saw these 3 shoes at royal sporting house at Tampines Mall. Manz..which one should i buy?..hahax..the red one not bad huh..but the material of the other 2 are good manx..oh ya!!..saw another puma bag!..I love it!!!..woohoo..but expensive...$79...maybe i should buy my bag first...hahax..my "outgear" bag is becoming more furry..hahax..okie..time to save money..heh..
hmmx..just came back from 6 hours of mugging..want to finish respiration in 1 day..=D..tired.lets see..yesterday..received my chem alkane and alkene test..failed it..damn!!..all the conditions are wrong!!..how can it be?!?! I drew mind maps..and failed..ok..maybe i din read it throughly..my fault..haha..oh ya.received my group's WR too..didn't do that well for my section..haiz..sorry guys..I promised to put all my brain cells on it..and get lots of "S", "AE" and "G"..hahax..
Have been mugging hard these days...slept at 1 everyday...so tired..
my ART promos postpone to monday!! after Chem!! Gosh..How to study like this?!?!?!..2 major and my lousiest subjects together..CRAP!...
haiz..today.....cant bring myself to ignore everything surrounding me..but...ya..still got affected in the end..but why?...why is the feeling so strong this time?..so difficult to get rid of it...haiz..
how i hope holidays never come...
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dance; the last dance. 6:29 AM
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| Wednesday, September 13, 2006
hmmmx..was late yesterday..can you believe it?..my first time being late you know..hahax.I was so happy when i saw a zero with a slash in the attendance..haha..ok, i am mad..
Today, Wednesday..I don't know...good, bad?...doesn't matter to me anyhow...
I seem to be back to myself....the quiet, emo guy..haha...is that good? I'm not sure..but I kinda like the feeling of wearing a happy mask...at least I force myself to interact with others and joke around..but that is not pure sociable i suppose...hahax..I am thinking too much..stupid me...
Ken today tell me the way to peace is ignorance...wow...din know he's that intellectual..hahax..not bad..thx huh..maybe thats the best way ba..
I bought Bio TB today!!...hahax..feel so nerdy bringing it back home....but I am wondering...will I use it?..I better...haha...so ex..><...
Today had Bio mock SPA...think I screw it up....wasn't in perfect shape to do it though...haiz..tired...
tml....she going for the dialogue with the principal i suppose?...hahax...gd luck duckie..all the best..don end up argueing with the principal..=x...
today before i left..got to took a last glance before i left...so near yet so far.....but what can i do...haix..I feel like an useless crap everyday..Seeing you _____________________ just makes me uncomfortable..maybe its time...haiz..
There was once a elf who is holding on to 2 balloons filled with Argon..he was floating up into the sky..higher and higher..but the problem is if he gets any higher..his life will be in danger. The only solution is to let go of the balloons and land safely on the ground.
However, the two balloons bring significant memories to him...he refuses to let them go..
Fortunately, the one which once brings him bad memories snap..and he's left with one balloon which brings him perfect and unforgetable memories..he refuses to let it go till the last second of his life.......will he make it?....or will he let it go...rather lead a ignorance life...than caring so much...and hurting his life again and again...someone please tel me the answer...
okay, i get what you mean....don't worry.=)..hahax..mug for ur promos la...you comfortable with it can le...be sure you can stand my suanning..hahax...tc...
i am tired..someone please help me out.....
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dance; the last dance. 2:33 AM
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| Monday, September 11, 2006
sheesh...shouldn't have went to seek consultation..got scolded for not doing work..okay..my fault..spent too much time on Biology and Chemistry..haiz.School sucks..I failed my GP..fail like nuts..manx..so discouraging..haiz..Maths quiz...got 18..weird..how did i do till so bad..haiz..sucks..
Sorry, but having bad mood today..I got a bad feeling..there just seems to be a boundary between us..things just don't seems right..I hate it..But heck..if things were to be like this..I shall just forget about it bahx..looking at the photo...something sure don't seems right..please tell me that i am wrong..so that I won't be hurt..haiz..I hate this feeling..I am confused..
Today my friend ask me..after promos..will I go back with her.. I was like..how I wish I can...but..it takes two hands to clap..obviously..the decision don't lie in me i suppose..But arrgh..I am lost..lost my direction suddenly..what happen dude..
erm...I suppose one of you who read this will be confused bahx...
Just want to say I'm sorry..I know...you are waiting for me to say something...but I am lost now. I am putting everything after Promos...concentrating on my Promos now....hope you understand....thx...=)..
Zheng Yi, HAPPY BIRTHDAY~!!!!
I am so sorry i can't get you anything...sorrie...really hope you enjoy your day...and..I believe life's gonna be better for you......tc!!!...
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dance; the last dance. 5:28 AM
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| Saturday, September 09, 2006
wooo...just finish mindmap for Alkenes and Alkanes..I actually forgot about the chem test on Monday..crap..hahax..i still got Thermo Chem to study...oh manx..stress stress..stupid me..revise bio till forget chem..hahax..hmmx..nothing happen these 2 days actually..just mug mug mug..and..I finish 30 disc of "Mr Fighting" !!..woohoo..pro me..=D...mug tv as well..=p..maybe can sit for "Mr Fighting" A'level..haha..not bad..
A few more hours...back to school...putting on that fake mask of mine..getting ready to face everyone..lets hope it will be fine...=)...
Zheng yi!!..12 more hours to your birthday!!..hahax!
Phew!!..Finally!!..finish my revision for thermo..although i anyhow study one..=x..think i am gonna fail tml's remedial test.=p..hmmx..Tml's start of last term..wonder what sports am i going to do..please..not rockclimbing..i will die..haha..Manx..I am damn stressed up..seems like I am suffocated..arrgh..what's Singapore education doing..trying to kill us huh..squeeze everything in 2 years..might as well just send us to Survivor Camp for 2 years..bleaghx..
Tired Tired Tired..Hmmx..tml got 2 GP periods..crap..shall gonna fall asleep..
It's been long time since i last stepped in Squash court!!..OI!!..I wana SLAP squash balls!!..=x..hahax..
Hmmx..Kenneth finally got a blog..woohoo..good good..spent more time updating it ok?..Don't rot in front of your com le..hahax..Okays..thats all..I'm tired..nothing else to write..only pray that..I can face...***....tomorrow....=)..
Countdown...one and a half hours to Zheng Yi's birthday..
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dance; the last dance. 9:48 PM
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| Friday, September 08, 2006
phew..back from 7 hours of studying..not bad..left 1 page of Endocrine to finish..hahax..not bad..spent 1 day to finish Homeostasis and Endocrine System..good improvement..=D.. Hmmx, woke up at 9 today. Received geena's call, so talk to her. Told her how to study for her prelims and O'levels. hahax.if it don't work don't blame me..hahax..
Met up with HT at 4 plus at geylang east library. She was studying there alone at 3..so pathetic right..alone also don't know how to call me..hahax..I'm also rotting at home can.hahax. Cass came down later..then mug mug mug..then one of the librarian came to us and say that the area is for reading newspaper..oh please, the library is so empty at that point of time. Can't they just put the table to good use? But it's okay, I got to fill my stomach with food.=D.
After dinner, HT went to church, Cass and me went to 124 to study..those stupid kids were playing and screaming like no one's business. We gave them stares and they don't understand what we meant. Furthermore, the parents are in the gym exercising and don't even know how to shut them up. Nvm, at least I got my phone to blast songs into my ears. They are so much nicer than the screams..hahax..
Mug Mug Mug..then Cass came and drew my hand..-.-!!..4 lines i suppose?.hahax.okays, then she promised me she's going to write a 1000 word blog tonight!..hahax..she's dead..
hmmx..today seems fine..didn't think that much..hope this can go on....but..i really want to know..the truth..
Hmmx..heard something last night..which makes me...*don't know how to describe the feeling*..hahax..all i can say is that nothing is impossible in this world ba..hahax..
Hmmx..haven't done my art essay..manx..3 essays!..and daniel kok never even give us any template..oh manx..how to do?!?!?!?!?!..
Sigh..my class people don't seem to come online lately..must be mugging like mad..stress
all i want is the truth..
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dance; the last dance. 7:32 AM
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| Thursday, September 07, 2006
 an overview...
 zoom in on the eye....*note the crack in the lens..
 zoom in on the heart..
drew all these...while tears ran down my cheeks...
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dance; the last dance. 7:23 AM
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| Wednesday, September 06, 2006
came back from school..had a tiring bio lesson today..was kinda pissed during the lesson..don't know why too..hahax..but who cares.. hmmx..can't blog too long i guess..having tuition soon..haiz. pathetic life of mine..
Hmmx..she tied a new hairstyle today..hahax..look kinda nice though, didn't talk to her..nor look at her in her eyes..guess i am still that coward who can't face reality ba..haiz.
I am stressed up..everyone seems to be mugging hard..i'm still slacking..what happen to me?..where's that hardworking spirit of mine?..I feel tired everyday..tired of life..studying, thinking..thats how i lived these days bahx..Just now took the same bus as Hendro..hahax..both of us mugging..two serious guys in action!.woohoo...Hmmx..didn't see her left the class..suppose she mugging in school ba?..all the best..haiz..still thinking...whether..to say it out. is it worth a try?..or it will just be another blow to me..i don know..
Hmmx..yesterday went out with V6..this time round, randall around, but ken not..grr..Went to the beach at night..was pondering over some things..
I pleaded myself to cry..to dissolve everything in water and just let it out (i suppose thats why the beach is always filled with water)..hahax.for those who don't understand..nvm..lolx..Now, i suppose the one who knows most about me is hwei ting ba...but..the darkest secret still lies in one person..haiz..
this scar seems too deep to recover..
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dance; the last dance. 10:27 PM
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| Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Just watched finish 2 discs of "Mr Fighting". Things are getting so complicated and so..emotional? hahax.. Had gp and maths lessons today. So tiring..went to TM to eat pastamania. Thx to that duck..now my stomach still feels weird with that large amount of Tabassco (correct spelling?)..haha..
During maths lesson, i nearly went mad..was trying super hard to find my mistake in the Mauclaurin question. I took about...more than 15 minutes i suppose? haha.. Hmmx..after school, took bus with Yao to interchange. On the way asked her some questions which i shouldn't be asking. But, i just want to know the truth i guess....i am tired...i really am...have to carry so many burden..when can i ever put them down..I thought over it..was having a plan..but..i suppose i might as well as forget it. Tired...very tired..can anyone just tell what should i do? My friend once told me patience is a virtue..but is it really one when you know that something is impossible? Is it worth the time spent?
"When you have something, there is a possiblity of losing it..but when you lose something, there is a possibility of getting it back." I am pondering over this sentence..trying to apply it into my life. But whenever i think of it..I force myself to give up..and just tell myself..at least i enjoy my life for a period of time..when it's time to let go...let go..no point dragging it..Wo heng lei.. Putting a smile or a laugther on your face is extremely difficult and tiring..but what else can i do? Let my tear run down? no way..i must be strong..Just a matter of time i supposed..
To my friends out there...thanks for your concern..I know my mood hasn't been good..but what i want to say is that..leave a guy alone when he's punishing himself..let me learn the hard way..thanks V6...that night at national library..i was myself..no needa hide any of my feelings..i feel so light...=)..
Next, I guess my mom is kinda having some problems with me ba..last night she kept scolding me..and i am rather tired of it.She don't know how much pain i am suffering inside me..I need someone for support..but my parents are never there..they never understood me by the amount of time they spend with me..i am already used to living in my own world. Everyday i just mug and mug..but i supposed i already lost my aim in life..
My dad everyday just come home and sit aside watching television. Often, order me to do this and that..I had enough of that. What is he treating me as..maid?..He does things outside which he think I don't know. But in fact..i know everything..i am just don't wish to say out anything.Seeing him doing that just pains me and I really feel like going up to him and lecture him. But what rights do i have to do that. NTH!..I had enough..tired..exhausted..it's already tuesday..few days more to reopening to school. I need to get myself back to normal..I am trying hard.But everytime i just fail..God, strengthen me..i need more than that to recover..please..
zheng yi..is this my punishment?.
shattered inside..
i learn the hard way...i supposed what i can do now is just forget u slowly..although it pains me alot..letting you go....
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dance; the last dance. 2:20 AM
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| Monday, September 04, 2006
wee..this is my new blog..hahax. Lets see how long this blog will last though..I had 2 blogs before, but i was lazy to update, so why even bother to keep them.haaz.
Just back from macdonalds, studied with randall. Was supposed to study for 4 hours. But that stupid guy have to go after 2 hours because he meeting his friends. well done. and later we are gonna meet up for soccer. Hahax..it's been long since i met up with eugene foo and wei xiong, wonder how have they been..oh no..why am i creating a new blog now. I'm supposed to do my GP comprehension...oh crap.Hmm, learning from Cai Xuan how to put the new blogskin now..i feel so stupid..lolx
trying to make use of this holiday..to take a vacation away from reality..really hope i can be back..
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dance; the last dance. 2:23 AM
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