| Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Just watched finish 2 discs of "Mr Fighting". Things are getting so complicated and so..emotional? hahax.. Had gp and maths lessons today. So tiring..went to TM to eat pastamania. Thx to that duck..now my stomach still feels weird with that large amount of Tabassco (correct spelling?)..haha..
During maths lesson, i nearly went mad..was trying super hard to find my mistake in the Mauclaurin question. I took about...more than 15 minutes i suppose? haha.. Hmmx..after school, took bus with Yao to interchange. On the way asked her some questions which i shouldn't be asking. But, i just want to know the truth i guess....i am tired...i really am...have to carry so many burden..when can i ever put them down..I thought over it..was having a plan..but..i suppose i might as well as forget it. Tired...very tired..can anyone just tell what should i do? My friend once told me patience is a virtue..but is it really one when you know that something is impossible? Is it worth the time spent?
"When you have something, there is a possiblity of losing it..but when you lose something, there is a possibility of getting it back." I am pondering over this sentence..trying to apply it into my life. But whenever i think of it..I force myself to give up..and just tell myself..at least i enjoy my life for a period of time..when it's time to let go...let go..no point dragging it..Wo heng lei.. Putting a smile or a laugther on your face is extremely difficult and tiring..but what else can i do? Let my tear run down? no way..i must be strong..Just a matter of time i supposed..
To my friends out there...thanks for your concern..I know my mood hasn't been good..but what i want to say is that..leave a guy alone when he's punishing himself..let me learn the hard way..thanks V6...that night at national library..i was myself..no needa hide any of my feelings..i feel so light...=)..
Next, I guess my mom is kinda having some problems with me ba..last night she kept scolding me..and i am rather tired of it.She don't know how much pain i am suffering inside me..I need someone for support..but my parents are never there..they never understood me by the amount of time they spend with me..i am already used to living in my own world. Everyday i just mug and mug..but i supposed i already lost my aim in life..
My dad everyday just come home and sit aside watching television. Often, order me to do this and that..I had enough of that. What is he treating me as..maid?..He does things outside which he think I don't know. But in fact..i know everything..i am just don't wish to say out anything.Seeing him doing that just pains me and I really feel like going up to him and lecture him. But what rights do i have to do that. NTH!..I had enough..tired..exhausted..it's already tuesday..few days more to reopening to school. I need to get myself back to normal..I am trying hard.But everytime i just fail..God, strengthen me..i need more than that to recover..please..
zheng yi..is this my punishment?.
shattered inside..
i learn the hard way...i supposed what i can do now is just forget u slowly..although it pains me alot..letting you go....
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dance; the last dance. 2:20 AM
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DANIEL LIO
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